life, how it is

Hello again, everyone if there's anyone. I doubt your presence here, though, so okay, I guess it's okay for me to ramble on aimlessly hehee :P

If there's one fault that I've got to admit, it's a difficulty to be grateful with what I have. Especially when it comes to my examination results. People keep telling me that. And I guess it's true, what they say. We might think the people around us are judgmental if they tend to criticize us, but then, it's okay to lend your ears to them and listen to them once in a while. Especially if they are the ones who are always ready to speak their mind, openly and honestly. We should always be ourselves. But that doesn't mean we cannot improve the persona that we choose to convey ourselves through, does it?

I don't know why it's so difficult for me to actually appreciate what I've done.
There's always this dreaded feeling nestled up inside of me, saying
you're not good enough.
incompetent against the world.
I don't like it. I want to be more confident, but not overconfident. 
Overdoing anything is bad, and doing nothing is just as wrong.
Being overconfident worsens the situation, being unconfident brings you nowhere.

Oh, right now obviously I'm talking about my midterms results. Can't you tell? Right, this sounds suspiciously conceited, so I presume that I've wrongly questioned you guys when you've already known.
I mean, the sentence 'especially when it comes to my examination results' on paragraph two, line one, clearly is a dead giveaway, a statement concerning the obvious, ain't it?

Hmm well regarding my midterms. I think they're just plain blah (oooh! I like the word blah). Most of the okay-ish grades I've got are of the 'terkangkang-atas-tong' variety. Honest. And when I stalk people's grades through e-pantau (oh kantoii!), I get real envious, of my friends at my old school because they're so good. I feel like a total drip. A slack-off like none other :(
(Either that, or my teachers are horrendously strict in marking papers, lol)

But then, whatever to terkangkang-atas-tong grades.
I should be grateful for what I've got, despite that it's not what I've expected, not what I've strove for.
Allah knows what's best for me, and that's what matters :)

p.s. AND I MUST GET MY EFFORT GEARS RUNNING! :B
p.p.s. Pray for me.