spiraling madness

THIS IS SO AWKWARD 
BUT I'VE GOTTA LET THIS OFF MY CHEST
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FEEL 
IT'S SO CONFUSING
I THINK I'M FALLING INTO AN ABYSS 
I HATE THIS FEELING
BUT I ENJOY IT SOMEHOW
WHY NOW? WHY NOW? WHY NOW?
WHY REMINISCE? WHY? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYYY
IT'S GOING TO BE AN EXCRUCIATING TWO WEEKS
WITHOUT
(OK FORGET IT.)

but then. 
You're a normal human being with feelings.
So it's plain normal to feel like this, right? 
I know it'll go away someday,
but somehow I don't want it to.